It’s been a while, I know. I made an introductory post for the blog, signed off, and never returned…until now.
Why is that? Well, I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m bad at blogging. I’ve made several attempts over the years, but it never felt right. This blog was one last-ditch attempt at starting over, but after not posting for more than three months, I almost deleted the whole thing again.
Before, I deleted it, though, I thought about all the other blogs I’d made before. I thought about why my enthusiasm for them died so quickly, and I realized it was because I was being a total perfectionist about every little detail. If it wasn’t perfect, I wanted to hide it from the world, which pretty much describes my entire life. But in this world full of entropy, that’s a pretty terrible mantra to live by, because all it does it set one up for failure–and that’s what I was doing to myself.
So, in an attempt to live as authentically as possible, I’ve returned to this blog, and started allowing myself the freedom to be less measured, more the person I really am. And so, Internet, I have something to tell you; putting it simply, I’m gay. Even though I just came out on this blog, I am still in the closet in real life (for some very good reasons), and I think maybe one of the things that made me second-guess deleting this blog is because I’m looking for a kind of outlet to discuss all the things I can’t really talk about in my real life.
I can’t really say anything about what this blog is going to be, because I don’t know any of that right now. I just know that I like blogging, and I want to continue doing it.
Thanks for reading.